myself
Mood:  not sure
i just dont get it. they never really see.
they nver see the me way down deep inside.
they forever want to change me and i am forever molded into what this person wants and what the person wants. o well one day i will find myself become my self belive in my self. soon they will al relize that they really needed me i was the one that held them together but not anymore i am doing this for me i am growing changing for no one but myself.

can i not be loved
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: i hate evedything about you 3 days grace
so what the fuck am i suposed to do when the man that i am with can no longer look at me in the face and and can no longer tell me that he love me while looking at me. well part of me wants to say fuck oyu i want nothing more with you. but i cant i love him to much. i have given of my self to him given my all everything i cn. i have changed and over looked things fo rhim but i cant do it any more nothing left for my here nothing left for me to lok forward to. i am scroued. i can not love anymore. i am closing myself to love to him to all around me. it will make life easier if only i didnt feel. i am done done with him done with this done with life the way it is. done and gone.

it was never ment for me
Mood:  sad
never ment to be in love and never ment to know the love that you were never ment to show. my world is going crazy my mind and body fell as if they are on fire. i just wish i understood why i am suposed to be this way.
why out of all the people in the world was i ment to be alone? i give myself to the world. i am there for you. i give myself at the lords command and for reasons unknown to me i am in more missory than i ever thought i would be on.
i am done being there for everyone and never doing things for myself. it is tiem for me to be selfish. forget everyone i am doing it for myself now. no one else. im going to go im going to run and never return.

Forever this way
Mood:  blue
Another broken heart what more can I say i think i am for ever destened ti be this way. i thought that i had you for one moment for one hour for one day. A love to call all my own in every single way. i am forever wrong in what i think and in what i pray. for we were never ment to be more then we are right now today. i fooled myself into thinking that it could ever be another way..
That i could love and be loved in return. But now i know that no matter how hard i try it will always be. for i am destened to forever be without love. with love all around me and myself sinking deeper and deeper in to myself.
Why must i want love?
Why can no one love me?
the answers i seek will forever be a mistory adn i am forever going to be in misory.